We referee soccer in Colombia, protest in the Philippines, kick box in Afghanistan, demonstrate on the West Bank, collect garbage in Peru, march in Ankara, comb each other’s hair in Baghdad, commemorate in America…
We are Women. We do it all.
Women often¬† do so much for everyone else, forgetting to do things for themselves. Much of our culture doesn’t value doing things strictly for ourselves; things that make us happy and whole. Instead, it insists that we’re only valuable if we’re doing something for someone else. To do for ourselves is to be selfish.
In the Mandarin language, there are two words for Selfish. One means doing that which is wholesome to your well-being, and the other is to be parsimonious or cruel, and stingy. English has somehow merged the two definitions into one, making us believe anything that’s constructively beneficial to the “self” is consequently greedy or cruel. That’s nonsense!
Many of women may feel liberated, but not fulfilled.
Consider what inspires you, what makes you happy… then (Gasp!) go DO it!¬† We’ve been raised to believe that the world might very well come off it’s axis if we don’t do what we’re “supposed” to do. I promise, Mother Earth will not cease to turn if we skip a load of laundry or, heaven forbid, skip two.
Take the time to revel in being you. Paint some pottery or sign up for a class, learn a new language, or buy something beautiful for yourself, simply because it brings you joy. Doesn’t matter what it is. It can be expensive or free. What matters is that it matters to you. The idea is to get in the spirit of doing things that bring you inspiration.
If you decide to give Selfishness a try, remember that others will not be pleased, but that’s OK, do it anyway. If you’re uncomfortable… Perfect! Then you’re growing. Growth is good. Becoming more of you, is good.
Elizabeth Gilbert said: “When you fill up your own skin with yourself, that alone can become your offering–every person that you meet sees all that in you…”
By practicing Selfishness, you learn to be your best self, and this in turn will bring out the best in others… Being selfish can help you be a better wife, mother, sister, and friend.
Give yourself permission to get excited about your life. Give yourself permission to be, selfish.